Well...

I feel a little better about things. All the flights were cancelled yesterday. It was a little difficult because I felt like I had JUST booked all of them. I couldn't look at our itinerary. A week from today we would have been on our way to Houston and then off to Cabo. Oh well. I am getting better, I just can't think about it.

We are working on our Plan B, and at this point we are strongly considering Vegas. I would love to have something on the beach in San Diego, but I think that would end up being too much work. I can't plan another wedding. I had put SO much into our Cabo wedding. I don't have it in me to plan everything ALL over again. Vegas seems easy. You pick a package and go. I don't want to worry about chair covers, flowers, centerpieces, seating charts, music lists, programs, guest books, no thank you. I want to show up and get married haha. I don't even care what my flowers look like. ha! I am sure I will change my mind once it becomes more of a reality because I am way too much of a planner to just not care. It will all work out.

We do know that we will be taking a cruise! I am SO excited! His dad is finding one for us since he knows which one is the best to take. We weren't going to do a honeymoon with the Cabo wedding since we were going to be gone for so long, but with Vegas...we are doing it. A Mediterranean Cruise sounds amazing. I can't wait. It's nice to look forward to something again.

Cabo is off

I would like to scream. I am so stressed out I feel like I have a huge fat man sitting on my chest and he won't move. I feel like I am in some kind of nightmare and I can't wake up. This past week has been a whirl wind. I only had ONE really crazy cry (right after I got the email from my wedding coordinator that everything was canceled). The rest of this past week has been me freaking out. This wedding that I have planned for the last year was over in an email. This wedding, as most already know, has been very very difficult to plan. I was so excited that the planning was coming to an end I could enjoy all the nightmarish planning and be married to my love. Nope, someone else had different plans for me. It just isn't fair. My dream wedding is over. Everyone keeps telling me that "it's okay, at least you still get to get married," and "whatever ends up happening will be just as beautiful." Ugh. I know, I am so lucky I still get to marry the man of my dreams and whatever the heck we end up doing will be just fine...but it doesn't make any of this better. Maybe I am just being a huge brat. That isn't something new.

The hotel is being okay with canceling so far, but I haven't seen any cancellation numbers. My wedding coordinator has been great. The photographer won't give us back the HUGE deposit we gave him. The hair person is keeping the $200 deposit I gave her and the kicker: the airlines are being assholes. Mexicana airlines is the worst. They are charging us $100 each ticket to change (x 10 flights with them) AND we can't transfer the names. So, bacically we are screwed. We have to keep the tickets and have to spend another $1,000 just to make changes. Contintental is being ok. We can't get a refund, but they are waiving the fees to make changes. Oh well. Orbit and American Airlines are on my list of calls, but I have a feeling it will be the same crap.

We were talking about going to Vegas, but I can honestly say that right now...I am over it. I don't want a wedding anymore. I just want to be married, I want everything canceled and I don't want to worry about any of it anymore. I never thought I would say that. I just want to be married already. No more stress. I can't take it anymore. It's not worth it anymore. I know, one day I will probably regret not having a wedding, but maybe on our 5 year anniversary we can have a renewal or something. Sounds good to me.

I feel like crying.