A Blog Award!!

I won an award!! It's from Rebecca over at A Southern Boy and A City Girl. Thank you Rebecca! Your blog is always so fun to read, and you always leave the nicest comments.

Here are the rules for the award:

1)You must thank the person who gave the award and list their blog and link it.
2) You must share "10 Honest Things" about yourself.
3) You have to present this award to 7 others whose blogs you find brilliant in content and/or design, or those who have encouraged you.
4) Last, you must tell those 7 people they've been awarded HONEST SCRAP and inform them of these guidelines in receiving the award.

10 Honest Things About Me
1) I am so nervous about being pregnant! I'm worried something will happen.
2) I am a horrible procrastinator.
3) I am horrible at calling people back. I somehow never hear my phone and never seem to call people back. SORRY!
4) I'm the luckiest woman alive - I married my best friend.

5) I'm still addicted to taking pregnancy tests, even though I know they are POSITIVE!
6) I call my doctor's office way too much, they all know be by name and were so excited yesterday when they told me I am pregnant.
7) I am horrible with money.

8) I'm addicted to expensive hair products, make-up, lotion, perfume (hence the bad with money thing above).

9) I rode my bike almost 600 miles in one week from San Francisco to Los Angeles. It was the most amazing accomplishment I have yet to do.
10) I love working out, but have been TOO tired to go.

I have chosen these blogs to give this award to:

1. Laurie Beth - Life Exposed

2. Waiting on Baby Paramore

3. Meagan and Garrett

4. The Staker Family

5. Meet the McCradys

6. Wanting, Waiting and Praying for our Miracle

7. The Kentucky Newlyweds

Houston, we have darker lines...

WHOOHHOOO! The line was darker this morning. I also had to do a digital just to get the "pregnant" and sure enough, it was. I tried taking pictures, but my iPhone wasn't working out. BUT, I did take a picture of how I surprised him:

This is the first door you see coming in from the garage. He looked at it and got a HUGE smile on his face. We had got that onesie in Monte Carlo on our honeymoon, knowing that one day we would have a baby to fill it! We hugged for a long time and laughed. After that we called his mom to give her the good news, she was elated! He kept looking at me with this huge smile. It was the sweetest thing ever. We called out family (only parents and brothers/sisters). We also decided to tell a few friends because if something does happen (God forbid), we want them to be there for us. We always thought we wouldn't tell anyone, but we are TOO EXCITED! This all feels so surreal.

Thanks for the Congrats ladies!!

I'm Pregnant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, the doc just called and my betas were 28.6 which is normal for only 10 dpo. She said, "You're Pregnant!" I about died. Going Monday for more blood work. PRAY that they go up!! I am going to test everyday and PRAY the lines get darker and darker. I am shocked. In shock. Can't breathe. Oh my gosh. I know being pregnant doesn't mean we get a baby, but it's the first step. Oh please let this be a healthy 9 months!!!!!!!!!!

Blood Test

Well, I called my doctor and they congratulated me. I am still not getting too excited, but she said ANY kind of pink line is a positive. I had a blood test done a little bit ago and will know by the end of today what my levels are. It's sooooo hard not to get too excited!! AH! I will be sure to update when I know!

Oh my goodness, oh my goodness!!

Today is 10 dpo and I of course took a test...and...there was a FAINT(I mean faint) pink line!! I tried to take a picture of it:
But it's so faint, it doesn't show up. It is there though. I could see it from all different angles and didn't have to take it apart! lol. I am NOT going to freak out and get too excited though. I don't consider that a positive. I want to, but until I see a prominent line there, I will remain calm. Hopefully when I test tomorrow it will be darker! Please oh please oh please let this be real! I woke up the husband and told him there was a FAINT FAINT pink line, but he wasn't impressed. He, like me, doesn't think this is it, YET!

Last night I was having a few more symptoms. My mouth was so watery all night (and still is). I noticed it when we were grocery shopping. My boobs are killing me! It seems to get worse at night though. I also noticed TONS AND TONS of blue veins all over them. I'm sure I'm reaching here, but hey...they are signs!

Damn evap lines

It was an evap line. lol.

Big Fat....

NEGATIVE! LOL. I knew it would be. BUT, BUT, BUT...I swear I saw something. It looks like there was an invisible line. I know, I know, but I took it apart (it's just a dollar tree cheapie) and there was a spot for a line and on the one I took last night, yes, I know, shuushh, that line thingy wasn't there. I'm reaching. I know I officially lost it. I'm not holding on to the hope that it will turn into something, but I swear I saw something. I didn't show it to the husband, but I told him about it...he just laughed. At least he still loves me, even if I am close to clinically insane. So, tomorrow I will test again at 10 dpo. It's okay if I'm not pregnant...the fun is in the trying.

Anyways...

I had a meeting last night at 7 p.m. and didn't get home until after 8:30. I was SOOOO tired and slept so well last night. I didn't wake up once, which come to think of it, it's been like that the last three nights. I love that! I was having problems waking up a few times in the middle of the night all last week. My brain was on overload, but thankfully, I think that has passed.

We just made our flight arrangements for our friends Tiffany and Mitch's wedding in April. Two trips to California coming up, and I couldn't be more excited! I miss everyone so much. I had a nice conversation with Emily last night, despite the face that it was cut short because of my meeting. I love her and miss her so much!

Oh, and even though this is a horrible, terrible picture, here is our new bedding!!! I love it, love it, love it! I need to figure out what accent color I want to go with because I need more pillows. I love pillows! I quickly made it and took a picture, so I promise you, I normally know how to make a bed. What color do you think we should do? I want something that I can do curtains in as well and that goes with the wall color. Any ideas?

Testing tomorrow morning...

I know it's too early, but there have been some women who were lucky enough to get a BFP at 9DPO. I will not get discouraged if it is negative and I'm 99.99% sure it will be. I need to do this for peace of mind...

So sad...

I am so sad today. I have no idea why. I feel depressed. This is a sign that AF is coming. Usually the week before she shows her face I get irritable and sad. The good news is that maybe, just maybe, it will come without the help of Provera. I would very much like that because it means I ovulated! I'm not going to count my chickens yet though.

Last night my cat slept on my stomach for a couple hours. All 16+ pounds of him. haha. I told my hubby that he was wishing there was a little baby in there. lol. I know...

Anyways, I'm just sad and blue. Feel like I could cry any second. I almost want to so I can get it out of my system! I watched Bringing Home Baby this morning. I didn't cry, and wasn't sad when watching it either. I know we will be there eventually. I guess I shouldn't have watched it though because I am sure that is where some of this sadness is coming from. I don't know why I am so sad, it's only our first month of Clomid. The doctor said it will take a few months, I need to remember that.

I try not to bombard the hubby with all of this, thankfully I have a blog and my one follower. =) It's nice to vent, even though I am sure it gets pretty redundant. I bitch about the same thing every post. I need to change that.

I need serious help.

I'm starting to think I have a cyst. I know, I know...here I go with Internet diagnosing. I need to stop it, but I was right about the PCOS (wish I wasn't). Here's why I think this:

I have pressure/pain in the abdomen
I have a dull ache in my lower back
I have pain after sex
I'm getting fat (no, no...it isn't the chocolate bar and fast food I have been eating)
I have nausea (off and on)
I have dizziness

WTH!?! Whyyyy am I doing this to myself.

The backache is new today. About 15 minutes ago I had about 7 sharp stabbing pains in my left ovary. Implantation?! LOL - most likely not. I'm psychotic.

I have a doctor's appointment next Tuesday. Let's a) hope I am pregnant or b) if that doesn't happen I start my period without the drugs. I like option A. I'm not that lucky though.

I'm so tired...thank goodness this day is OVER!

7 DPO

Well, all of my "pregnancy" symptoms that I was having last week are pretty much gone. Lately I have been getting dizzy spells quiet often and had a pretty vivid dream last night, but that's just me LOOKING for symptoms. My boobies have been a LITTLE sore, but nothing to write home about. DAMN! On Friday I was pretty sure I was pregnant. Of course it was WAY too early to tell, but I had it in my brain that I was pregnant! I talked to the doctor and they mentioned that they thought I was too. Of course, all this speculation and MAKING symptoms is going to make it seem like I am pregnant! They said it sounded like maybe, just maybe I was pregnant with multiples which is why I would experience symptoms so soon. Oh, and before this was said, she did say, "I don't want to get your hopes up, but..." HAHAHA! Oh my gosh. Well, I'm pretty sure I'm not. I did test like the crazy POAS whore that I am. Seriously, I knew they were going to be BFN's, but I still tortured myself anyways. I think I took about 5 tests this weekend. I have problems. Maybe there are help groups for people like me? I need to stop googling all my symptoms and STOP testing before I lose my mind.

My dumbass was on the phone with my mother in law Friday and told her what the doctor said and that I "JUST KNOW" and she about blew out my ear drum with excitement! Why the hell would I do that?! Can't I just keep my mouth shut? Now when I tell her that I am just delusional I will look, well, delusional. We only plan to tell select people when it actually happens. His parents, my mom and sister and a few friends and that's it! Oh, and of course the entire blog world. Who knows if this will seriously be the case. I know us...we will be too damn excited not to share it with the world!

P.S. I am soooo ready for Christmas! Can I decorate now?

3 DPO

This is going to be WAY TMI, but after we BD last night I was in so much pain I couldn't stand OR sit! I couldn't get comfortable. It got better as the night went on. My poor ovaries. I think they are enlarged. That seems to be the best logical reason for all the pain. I am hoping and praying that I don't have a cyst. The longer I have this pain, the more I am convinced that this isn't our month. I know it's too soon to know and I should remain positive, but I am really contemplating if I even ovulated now. Who knows! I told myself I was going to remain positive though. It ain't over till AF shows her ugly face!

I have a few weird things going on still though:

- Food is off to me. I ordered my FAVORITE Thai dish for lunch yesterday and couldn't eat it. It tasted really weird and the smell bothered me. I ended up eating a frozen pizza later and had no problems with it.

- My nipples are sensitive - they don't hurt, but are a little sensitive.

- My stomach still feels REALLY weird. Only when I press on it though. It's hard to explain.

- I am STARVING! If I don't eat, I feel like I am going to be sick.

- I am moody!

- And of course the cramping.

WTH is going on with me?! I blame it all on the damn clomid. I could have possibly O'd earlier than I thought, but I don't think so. I have tons of the cheapy pregnancy tests that I may just go ahead and take for peace of mind. Damn clomid.

Feeling so weird

I don't know what is going on with my body. I am thinking it's the clomid. I have had these stupid cramps for what seems like forever now. The worst of it was on Sunday, but they seem to be sticking around. I thought for sure they were going away yesterday, but no such luck. It's mostly on my left side. My ovaries feel HUGE! I am bloated beyond belief and my stomach feels really weird too. Like when I push on it, it's just different. I just feel weird all over. I couldn't sleep last night either. I'm only 2 DPO...wayyyyy too early for any pregnancy symptoms, so I am not getting my hopes up just yet.

This is a bitch post. Wah!

DPO1

These were supposed to go at the bottom of my post...oh well...

My beautiful moms...My mom on the left (she was so happy her hair grew back in time for the wedding) and my Mother-in-Law. Love them both so much!

C'mon two week wait! I hope these two weeks fly by. It's funny because I really don't think this is our month and I am trying my best not to get my hopes up, but it's still fun. AND...if I get a BFN I am not going to fret. We will have another month of trying ahead of us. We want this to be fun. Of course it seems a litttttle mechanical because we need to "time" things a little more careful, but that's okay. Peeing on those darn OPK's are not very sexy. On Saturday I ran to him with the positive and I think that grossed him out a little bit. I guess he doesn't want to see my pee stick!

I woke up this morning and my breasts were heavy. Not sore, but heavy feeling. This clomid is a crazy thing. I didn't really have any symptoms while taking it, it all started a few days after I finished. I had the hot flashes, but not too horrible. Insomnia, but only for about 3 nights. Headaches, for about 2 weeks off and on. Bloating! Whoa. And wonderful cramps! They seem to be almost ALL better today, so I really think I was ovulating. Oh Lord, please let it be true! If that is the case and I am not pregnant then I should start my period on my own without the help of the Provera. I am crossing my fingers that this is the case.

K, off this subject now...it's obviously ALL I can think about!

This past weekend the husband and I took a mini road trip to Lubbock. It's almost a two hour drive and pretty boring, but we made it fun. We always have so much fun together. Just being huge dorks together. I needed to go to David's Bridal to get my dress for his mom's wedding in December. I think I mentioned this before, but I am the Matron of Honor. I love her SO much and am so excited to be in her wedding.

I am back into the swing of things with my new "old" job. I forgot how much work it was! It's a little stressful, but I'm loving every minute of it. I really miss the law firm girls. A select few anyways. I'm taking Leslie out for her birthday on Thursday. Fun times!

We had a little scare with my mom this past week. She called me on Thursday and told me that they found another lump. I have been so stressed out since she told me. Her appointment was yesterday and it was just a swollen lymph node! Phew. I just about cried when she told me that. I was so worried about her. I didn't want her to have to go through chemo again. It almost killed her last time and I don't think she could have handled another round of it. Thank you Lord. We prayed so hard and had all my friends and family in on it...it worked.

Not sure I'm liking this clomid...

I have been in pain since Friday. The worst of it was yesterday. I am assuming (hoping) that I either ovulated or am about to ovulate. I THINK I had a positive OPK on Saturday night. I think anyways, I should have purchased the expensive ones with the smiley face. Who knows what is going on. I took some tylenol and then relaxed for awhile yesterday and that seemed to do the trick. Please oh please let me be ovulating! These pains are no fun if that isn't the case.

I think I will count today as ovulation day (why didn't I start temping, damnit!) and then tomorrow will be DPO1. That seems to make sense to me. I figure since Saturday I got the positive OPK then 12-48 hours would put me at today as ovulation day, right? This is insane. Oh well. I am not going to worry about it. I am not getting my hopes up either! Hello Two Week Wait!

Ouch

My nipple, only the left one, is burning. It's been happening on and off since yesterday.

That's all.

I'm back!

I love my husband. He is amazing. I know, barf, right?? I am so lucky to have such an amazing husband. He makes my world complete! No more mushy stuff...

I've been so busy at my "new" old job that I haven't had a chance to blog! Things have been hectic, but great! I love my job, which is such a nice thing to say. I do miss the people at the law firm. Especially Leslie! It's weird coming to work in the morning and not having her here to catch up with. I haven't even had a chance to see her since I left! That's how busy I have been!

I am currently on CD 13. I think the effects of the clomid are finally hitting me too. I have been getting headaches, night sweats and pains in my left ovary. It's tolerable though. I tested my LH levels the last couple days, but they have been negative. I don't think this is going to be our month, so I am not too worried about it. I am not going to stress out anymore! That's my plan anyways, lets see how well that works out.

My plan is to work on the honeymoon posts this weekend!

Hello Clomid...goodbye clomid...

Soooo, I thought I started my period last Saturday. Even though it was really weird, I was still counting Saturday as CD1 and Wednesday would be my first day of Clomid. I called the doctor to make sure this is what I should do and he said YES! I was very excited, this is it! Well, Wednesday night I popped my first Clomid pill, and then the next morning....HELLO AF!! Oh my goodness. You're kidding, right? Okay, so I call the doctors office again and tell them what happened and she said to stop the Clomid and start again in a few days. UGH! Back to CD1. I pretty much figure this month is wasted. I didn't think I would get pregnant in the first month of Clomid anyways.

I started temping this morning too. It was a pretty comedic experience. I, stupidly, put my thermometer away in my drawer. I was trying to move as little as possible while searching through my night stand, I'm pretty sure my temp was ruined because I couldn't f'ing find the damn thing! It's now sitting out on the night stand. I have tried temping so many times, but I usually just jump right out of bed to go to the restroom. Whoops !

Why am I watching Bringing Home Baby on Discovery Health? I like self torture.