Life....

Life is good. I hate saying that because I fear something or someone is going to take it all away. Sad huh? That's how I've always been. I'm always afraid to admit that life is good and as it should be. I hear the news and someone, somewhere is hurting. I can't stop thinking about the poor parents of the children that were lost in the Connecticut shooting. It hurts my heart. Life can change in the blink of an eye. We just lost someone really dear to us. Alex's mom's husband passed away on December 18th. He passed away from a massive heart attack. Jacob LOVED his Papa so much. Thankfully they were just here the month before, so he had a chance to see him before the Lord called him home. It was really weird because that day and up until his body was laid to rest, Jacob was talking about Papa A LOT. He was seeing him. He was saying, "HI PAPA!!" and then he would point to the wall. He did this a few times. Thankfully I wasn't the only one that saw it, or I would have thought I was either sleep deprived or losing it (which I am pretty sure I am anyways). It was pretty surreal and creepy all at the same time. After he had his funeral, he stopped talking about him. One of the times he was on his bed crying for him. He loved him. We all loved him. He was a very sweet man. He was a man of very few words. He would light up around Jacob. I never saw him smile as much as I did when he was around my little boy. Memories we will never forget.

Charlotte is amazing. She is such a good baby. She's a little high maintenance at times, but she's really not that bad. She just LOVES to nurse ALL THE TIME, which is the way Jacob was as well. She seems to want to nurse and then she wants to nurse again to sleep. Very tiring, but it's worth it. As of Christmas, she starting to find her voice. It's such a SWEET sound! Her whole face lights up as she smiles and then she will work herself up to make a noise. Her eyes sparkle, it's pretty amazing. I forgot about all of this. It's getting better and better. Having two kids is not easy, but it's getting manageable. There were moments (there still are), where I don't think I can do it. I know as she gets older, it will get that much easier. Well, that's what people seem to tell me at least.

We've been co-sleeping. I said I would never do it, but it's really the only way I'm getting a full night of sleep.  Well, not really a full night of sleep, more sleep than I would be. She nurses while I sleep. haha. We need to stop that soon though. I really don't want her to get used to it. I think she already is, but I enjoy it just as much as she does. Knowing that this is the last kid, makes me want to hold onto this as much as I possibly can. It makes me sad that this is the last time I will have a newborn! I couldn't imagine myself with three kids though. This isn't easy. I need to remind myself that.

Jacob is such a good boy. He is fully potty trained. He hasn't had a night time accident in a long time. I think we will stop using pull ups as soon as this pack is done. Having only one kid in diapers is a joy. He is talking a lot more too. It makes communicating so much easier. We were having a really hard time at one point. We were both so frustrated. He does amazing in his big boy bed. We recently starting having some issues with him getting out of bed at night. Over and over and over again. He seems to always want a specific toy. Once he gets that toy he wants another one and then he wants water with ice. It's pretty cute, but also really annoying after the 50th time and I'm trying to nurse Charlotte.

He still has issues with food. He won't try anything new and he seems to only want oatmeal. He will eat it ALL DAY and he pretty much does. I tried to give him pedisure, but he won't drink it. He will eat eggs on occasion and fish sticks sometimes, but that is really it. He still loves his carbs though. He will typically eat most bread and toast. I hate it. I wish he would eat a well rounded meal because I think I would feel so much better. He will sometimes eat pizza too, that's healthy, right? Calcium? ha!