I think I am putting on a really good front. On the outside I am seemingly okay with the cancellation of our wedding. I am pretending really well I think. On the inside though...I feel like screaming. I am so sad and upset that our wedding is off. I can't talk about it anymore. Not only that, but I am sure people don't want to hear about it either.
I can't believe I was supposed to be off work tomorrow packing for our wedding. We were supposed to leave on Wednesday. Ugh. I needed a vacation too! Alex is going to be gone on the 16th now. He will be out of town on what would have been our wedding day and I don't know why it is bothering me so much. I am so sad. I am going to be thinking the ENTIRE time about what I SHOULD be doing right at that moment. Thankfully, I have some great friends here that are going to hang out with me. Thank you Leslie and Liz. I think there will be a few more of us, but I need to do something. I plan on drinking...and a lot. HAHA!
To top of EVERYTHING else that is going on...I talked to my mom yesterday and they think she had a stroke. A mild one, but a stroke nontheless. I am so worried about her. Not only do they think she had a stroke, but her thyroid has shut down completely. They are putting her through tons of tests to make sure the cancer hasn't spread, but it kills me that I am not there. She sounds so tired on the phone and that isn't like her. She is always upbeat, even when she was going through the chemo. I am thankful for the way the wedding turned out for this reason though because she wouldn't have been able to attend the Cabo wedding. I couldn't have got married without her there with me. So, as they say, things happen for a reason and I think this is one of those things.
We are currently looking at getting married at the Bellagio. Nothing is set in stone yet, but we are looking at POSSIBLY doing it on my dads birthday, July 11th and then the cruise leaves on the 15th. Who knows though. I know things will change 100 times before we settle on something.
Fun times.
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